WP1 Final Draft

Author's Statement:

As this was the first writing project of the semester, it was a bit of a learning experience. After writing my initial draft, I had to do a lot of reworking and editing in order to come up with my final product. I learned a lot through the editing and peer revision process, and I think it resulted in a good writing project.

In my first draft, I focused mainly on the Rwandan genocide as my context, and my argument was that the children in "Sitting on Rail" had been able to move on with their lives after the terrible experience that they have had. After doing the first round of peer editing and getting comments from my instructor, I realized that I had chosen to analyze the same photograph as a classmate, and that my historical context and argument was very similar to several other students'.

For my second draft then, I came up with a completely new argument that was better supported by the technical elements in the photograph. I also had to come up with a different historical context to differentiate my writing project from others. I chose to put minimal focus on the Rwandan genocide, and instead did most of my background information on the Imbabazi orphanage, where the photographer and the children in the photograph attended.

Also in my second draft, I reorganized the structure of my body paragraphs. I realized that some of my arguments were stronger than others, so I rearranged the paragraphs to put the most important one first. Originally, I had began the body of my writing project by talking about the coloration of the photo, but as I revised it, I realized that my paragraphs on visual hierarchy were more important and I had more information on that element, so I put that one first. I tried to expand on my existing points in order to provide more convincing support for my argument, and I had to alter some of the information I presented so it would support my new argument.

While I did the most revision between my first and second drafts, I did a lot of work on my second draft in order to make it good enough to be a final draft. I added in more background information about the photography project "Through the Eyes of Children" to further set it apart from other projects with similar contexts, and I did a lot of revising on the body. I expanded and clarified my supporting evidence, and I reworked my conclusion so it better wrapped up my essay. Again, I found the peer review to be very helpful. I got a lot of good suggestions from Kelli after the first review, and more from Ben after the second review. Most of these suggestions were things I would not have thought of myself, and I would not have been able to write as good of an essay.

Overall, I think my writing developed a lot through the writing and editing process. I was able to take a basic, rough draft and turn it into a better, more developed final copy. It was a long and sometimes difficult process, but it was a good experience because I learned a lot and it helped my writing and analytical skills.

Second Draft

First Draft

Statement of Purpose

Writing Project 1:

The photograph “Sitting on Rail” was taken by a boy named Musa in 2000 in western Rwanda, overlooking Lake Kivu. This was only six years after the end of the Rwandan genocide, a violent ethnic conflict between the Tutsis and the Hutus. In the aftermath of the genocide, the Imbabazi Orphanage was founded by Rosamond Carr, an American women living in Rwanda. About 95,000 Rwandan children had been killed or orphaned in the violence, and the orphanage was meant to be a place where children would be protected and cared for. "Imbabazi" literally means “a place where you will receive all the love and care a mother would give,” (Imbabazi.org) so it was a safe haven for the children amidst the conflict and suffering throughout Rwanda. Over 400 kids have lived at the orphanage, including Musa, the child who took this picture.

"Through the Eyes of Children" is a photography project started at the Imbabazi Orphanage. The program gave disposable cameras to the children to take "pictures for themselves and to share with others, exploring their community, and finding beauty as the country struggles to rebuild" (Rwandaproject.org). Originally intended only to be a hobby and a way for the orphaned children to share their experiences with each other, the photographs of the Rwanda Project were displayed at the U.S. Embassy in Kigali, the capitol of Rwanda, in 2001, and are now sold to help the children share their experiences with the world. The Rwanda Project allowed Musa to become a photographer, and more importantly, it gave him an opportunity to tell his story. Through technical elements such as visual hierarchy, coloration, vectors of attention, and framing the photograph evokes logos, pathos, and ethos. These elements are coupled with the cultural and historical context of the photograph to support the argument that though the children seem small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, there is still hope for them.

The children and the rail they are sitting give an appeal to logos because these elements work to create a visual hierarchy—the eye is first drawn to the children, specifically the child in the yellow shirt sitting on the rail. He is seated higher than the rest of the children, and as a result, stands out more. The rest of the children are aligned, and the child seated on the rail breaks this repetition. He is also positioned near the center of the photograph, which further helps draw the eye toward him first, and makes him seem like the main subject in the photograph. This shows that though the expansive background may be overwhelming, the vastness of the lake and the sky is not the focus of the photograph. Instead it is the children, who stand out against the rest of the photograph, even though they seem small and insignificant in comparison. It is these children who seek to accomplish the seemingly impossible task of finding hope among the nothingness that is represented by the background.

Another appeal to logos is that the children sitting on the rail serve as a kind of visual separation between the sky and the water to better distinguish them. The top line of the rail is almost exactly where the horizon is in the background, which provides a clear distinction between the sky and the water that otherwise might not have been very noticeable. This serves as a backbone alignment for the photograph, further emphasizing the visual hierarchy. This also contributes to the argument because by visually breaking up the lake and the sky, the photograph makes these elements seem less daunting and overpowering, creating the potential for possibilities in the children. It shows that all is not lost in the expanse of sky and water.

One of the main appeals to pathos is the coloration of the photograph. The sky and the lake are very similar hues, so they would blend together and wouldn’t be very distinct, except for the separation by the rail. In addition, the colors in the background are very neutral. The sky and water are both a pale grayish-blue, and the ground is a light brownish-tan. These hues and the saturation of the hues elicit certain emotions with the viewer. The similarity of these hues contributes to the apparent vastness, and can make the audience feel a bit overwhelmed. The neutrality of the coloration gives a sense of bleakness and hopelessness. However, the different, darker hues of the children and their clothing contrast with the bland pale hues of the background. The boy in the yellow shirt sitting atop the rail and the boy in white sitting two to the left stand out in particular because of the slightly brighter hues of their clothing. This sets the children apart from the background and works with the visual hierarchy to make them the main focus of the photograph. By contrasting with the background, the children aren’t dwarfed by the impossibility imposed by the dreary hues. Instead, they are something more important—a sign of hope among the despair.

The children in the photograph are looking out across the lake. Thus, the vectors of attention are focused in that direction, away from the audience. This creates an appeal to pathos because it evokes a sense of curiosity in the audience. What are the children looking at? Where is their attention focused? Why is it so important that they all are looking at the same thing? The audience can't see what the children in the photograph can see so this in effect distances and separates the viewers from the photograph. An emotional connection is established through the curiosity, but it is a different emotional connection than there would be if the children were looking at the camera. Instead, the audience is positioned as an outsider looking in on the photograph instead of feeling like a part of it. This creates a sense of objectivity—the viewer can observe and take in the content of the photograph without forming emotions of sympathy that could arise if the children had been facing the photographer.

The framing of the photograph appeals to logos. The rail and the lake appear to go on forever on either side; there is no clear end in sight in the photograph. This adds to the sense of vastness and makes the children seem smaller and less significant compared to everything else. However, since the photo doesn't show how big the lake really is or how far the rail extends, the children take up the bulk of the picture and are still the main focus. By looking at the photograph, the viewer can infer about the photographer and how the photographer took this picture, appealing to ethos. The viewer appears to be where the photographer was standing, so the viewer puts himself in his place—standing behind the other children and observing them, again adding to the objectivity of the photograph. This also creates an appeal to pathos in the audience. By looking at the photograph as an objective outsider, the viewer can feel the emotional distance between themselves and the children in the photograph.

These elements present within the photo create appeals to ethos, pathos, and logos. The visual hierarchy, coloration, vectors of attention, and framing all work together within the photograph to emphasize the importance of the children juxtaposed against the expanse of the water and the sky in the background. These rhetorical strategies contribute to the overall argument that the children in the photograph may face a seemingly impossible situation, but there is still hope and possibility for change. At first glance, it is just a photograph of children looking out at a lake, but knowing the context sheds more light on the situation of the children at the orphanage and helps the viewer of the photograph to appreciate it more. “Sitting on Rail” shows that all is not lost for the Rwandan children, so often forgotten. With the help of the Rwanda Project, Musa, the photographer, helped to ensure that these children will be remembered and that their story will reach the rest of the world.

Works Cited

Rwanda: How the Genocide Happened. BBC news. 18 December 2008. 17 February 2010.http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/1288230.stm.

Imbabazi: A Home for Hope. 17 February 2010. http://imbabazi.org/home.php.

Through the Eyes of Children. The Rwanda Project. 17 February 2010.http://www.rwandaproject.org/index.html.

WP1 Draft 2

The photograph “Sitting on Rail” was taken by a boy named Musa in 2000 in western Rwanda, overlooking Lake Kivu. This was only six years after the end of the Rwandan genocide, a violent ethnic conflict between the Tutsis and the Hutus. In the aftermath of the genocide, the Imbabazi Orphanage was founded by Rosamond Carr, an American women living in Rwanda at the time. About 95,000 Rwandan children had been killed or orphaned in the violence, and the orphanage was meant to be a place where children would be protected and cared for. "Imbabazi" literally means “a place where you will receive all the love and care a mother would give,” so it was a safe haven for the children amidst the conflict and suffering throughout Rwanda. Over 400 kids have lived at the orphanage, including Musa, the photographer who took this picture.

"Through the Eyes of Children" is a photography project started at the Imbabazi Orphanage. The program gave disposable cameras to the children to take "pictures for themselves and to share with others, exploring their community, and finding beauty as the country struggles to rebuild" (Rwandaproject.org). This project allowed Musa to become a photographer. Through technical elements such as visual hierarchy, coloration, vectors of attention, and framing the photograph evokes logos, pathos, and ethos. This is coupled with the cultural and historical context of the photograph to support the argument that though the children seem small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things, there is still hope for them.

The children and the rail they are sitting give an appeal to logos because these elements work to create a visual hierarchy—the eye is first drawn to the children, specifically the child in the yellow shirt sitting on the rail. He is seated higher than the rest of the children, and as a result, stands out more. The rest of the children are aligned, and the child seated on the rail breaks this repetition. He is also positioned near the center of the photograph, which further helps draw the eye toward him first, and makes him seem like the main subject in the photograph. This shows that though the expansive background may be overwhelming, the vastness of the lake and the sky is not the focus of the photograph. Instead it is the children, who seek to accomplish the seemingly impossible task of finding hope among the nothingness.

Another appeal to logos is that the children sitting on the rail serve as a kind of visual separation between the sky and the water to better distinguish them. The top line of the rail is almost exactly where the horizon is in the background, which provides a clear distinction between the sky and the water that otherwise might not have been very noticeable. This serves as a backbone alignment for the photograph, further emphasizing the visual hierarchy. This also contributes to the argument because by visually breaking up the lake and the sky, the photograph makes these elements seem less daunting and creates the potential for possibilities.

One of the main appeals to pathos is the coloration of the photograph. The sky and the lake are very similar hues, so they would blend together and wouldn’t be very distinct, except for the separation by the rail. In addition, the colors in the background are very neutral. The sky and water are both a pale grayish-blue, and the ground is a light brownish-tan. These hues and the saturation of the hues elicit certain emotions with the viewer. The similarity of these hues contributes to the apparent vastness, and can make the audience feel a bit overwhelmed. The neutrality of the coloration gives a sense of bleakness and hopelessness. However, the different hues of the children and their clothing contrast with the bland hues of the background. This sets the children apart from the background and works with the visual hierarchy to make them the main focus of the photograph. By contrasting with background, the children aren’t dwarfed by the impossibility imposed by the background hues. Instead, they are something more important—a sign of hope among the despair.

The children in the photograph are looking out across the lake. Thus, the vectors of attention are focused in that direction, away from the audience. This creates an appeal to pathos because it evokes a sense of curiosity in the audience. What are the children looking at? Where is their attention focused? Why is it so important that they all are looking at the same thing? The audience can't see what the children in the photograph can see so this in effect distances and separates the viewers from the photograph. An emotional connection is established through the curiosity, but there isn't as strong of an emotional connection as there would be if the children were looking at the camera. Instead, the audience is positioned as an outsider looking in on the photograph instead of feeling like a part of it. This creates a sense of objectivity—the viewer can observe and take in the content of the photograph without the emotions that would be associated with the children.

The framing of the photograph appeals to logos. The rail and the lake appear to go on forever on either side; there is no clear end in sight in the photograph. This adds to the sense of vastness and makes the children seem smaller and less significant compared to everything else. However, since the photo doesn't show how big the lake really is or how far the rail extends, the children take up the bulk of the picture and are still the main focus. By looking at the photograph, the viewer can infer about the photographer and how the photographer took this picture, appealing to ethos. The viewer appears to be where the photographer was standing, so the viewer puts himself in his place—standing behind the other children and observing them, again adding to the objectivity of the photograph. This also creates an appeal to pathos in the audience. Though looking at the photograph as an objective outsider, the viewer can feel the emotional distance between themselves and the children in the photograph.

The photograph employs several elements in appealing to ethos, pathos, and logos. The visual hierarchy, coloration, vectors of attention, and framing all work together within the photograph to emphasized the importance of the children juxtaposed against the expanse of the water and the sky in the background. These rhetorical strategies contribute to the overall argument that the children in the photograph may face a seemingly impossible situation, but there is still hope and possibility for change. Knowing the context sheds more light on the situation of the children at the orphanage and helps the viewer of the photograph to appreciate it more. At first glance, it is just a photograph of children looking out at a lake, but knowing the historical and cultural context of the photo appeals to the viewers' emotions, or pathos. “Sitting on Rail” shows what life is like for these children, so often forgotten. With the help of the Rwanda Project, Musa helped to ensure that these children will not be forgotten and that their story will reach the rest of the world.

Works Cited

Rwanda: How the Genocide Happened. BBC news. 18 December 2008. 17 February 2010. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/1288230.stm.

Imbabazi: A Home for Hope. 17 February 2010. http://imbabazi.org/home.php.

Through the Eyes of Children. The Rwanda Project. 17 February 2010. http://www.rwandaproject.org/index.html.

WP1 Draft 1

“Sitting on Rail” was taken by a boy named Musa in 2000 in western Rwanda, overlooking Lake Kivu. This was only six years after the end of the Rwandan genocide, a violent ethnic conflict between the Tutsis and the Hutus. Through technical elements such as visual hierarchy, coloration, vectors of attention, and framing the photograph evokes ethos, pathos, and logos. This is coupled with the cultural and historical context of the photograph to support the argument that though the children’s lives have been drastically altered by the hardships and tragedy they have faced, the Rwandan children have been able to continue on with their lives as best as they can. By showing an aspect of their everyday life, the photograph ensures that the children’s story gets told and ensures that the children and their situation will not be forgotten.

There has been a long history of conflict between the Tutsis and the Hutus, the two main ethnic groups in Rwanda and its neighboring country Burundi. This conflict dates back to the early 20^th century when Belgian colonizers began identifying the native people based on their ethnicity, and deemed that the Tutsis were the superior class.

On April 6, 1994, a Tutsi rebel group led by current Rwandan president Paul Kagame assassinated the Rwandan president, a Hutu. Kagame denied this, but the Hutu backlash resulted in the genocide that left over 800,000 dead, most of those Tutsis. Millions more fled to neighboring countries, and conflict still remains as the current Tutsi government continues to invade the Democratic Republic of Congo to attempt to get rid of the Hutu refugees there.

In the aftermath of the genocide, the Imbabazi Orphanage was founded by Rosamond Carr, an American women living in Rwanda at the time. About 95,000 Rwandan children had been killed or orphaned in the violence, and the orphanage was meant to be a place where children would be protected and cared for. Over 400 kids have lived at the orphanage, including Musa, the photographer of this picture.

"Through the Eyes of Children" is a photography project started at the Imbabazi Orphanage. The program gave disposable cameras to the children to take "pictures for themselves and to share with others, exploring their community, and finding beauty as the country struggles to rebuild" (Rwandaproject.org). This project allowed Musa to become a photographer.

One of the main appeals to pathos is the coloration of the photograph. The sky and the lake are very similar hues, so they blend together and aren't very distinct. In addition, the colors in the background are not very saturated. The sky and water are both a pale grayish-blue, and the ground is a light brownish-tan. These hues and the saturation of the hues elicit certain emotions with the viewer. They create a sense of neutrality—there doesn't seem to be much going on in the background of the picture and it may not seem very important. Emotions of indifference and bleakness tend to arise from the hues in the photograph, which makes the audience pay more attention to the children and feel more emotionally connected to them.

The children contrast with the background of the photo because they are a darker hue that stands out against the pale background. This contrast appeals to logos because it creates a visual hierarchy—the eye is first drawn to the children, specifically the child in the yellow shirt sitting on the rail. He is seated higher than the rest of the children, and as a result, stands out more. The rest of the children are aligned, and the child seated on the rail breaks this repetition. He is also positioned near the center of the photograph, which further helps draw the eye toward him first, and makes him seem like the main subject in the photograph.

The children sitting on the rail serve as a kind of visual separation between the sky and the water to better distinguish them. The top line of the rail is almost exactly where the horizon is in the background, which provides a clear distinction between the sky and the water that otherwise might not have been very noticeable. This serves as a backbone alignment for the photograph, further emphasizing the visual hierarchy.

The children in the photograph are looking out across the lake. Thus, the vectors of attention are focused in that direction, away from the audience. This creates an appeal to pathos because it evokes a sense of curiosity in the audience. What are the children looking at? Where is their attention focused? Why is it so important that they all are looking at the same thing? The audience can't see what the children in the photograph can see so this in effect distances and separates the viewers from the photograph. There isn't as strong of an emotional connection as there would be if the children were looking at the camera. Instead, the audience is positioned as an outsider looking in on the photograph instead of feeling like a part of it. This creates a sense of objectivity—the viewer can observe and take in the content of the photograph, but the emotional connection with the subjects of the photograph is not as strong.

The framing of the photograph appeals to logos. The rail and the lake appear to go on forever on either side; there is no clear end in sight in the photograph. This creates a sense of vastness and makes the children seem smaller and possible less significant compared to everything else. However, since the photo doesn't show how big the lake really is or how far the rail extends, the children take up the bulk of the picture and are still the main focus. By looking at the photograph, the viewer can infer about the photographer and how the photographer took this picture, appealing to ethos. The viewer appears to be where the photographer was standing, so the viewer puts himself in his place—standing behind the other children and observing them, again adding to the objectivity of the photograph.

These rhetorical strategies contribute to the overall argument that the children in the photograph have been able to move on past the violence and destruction in Rwanda and live their lives. Knowing the context sheds more light on the situation of the children at the orphanage and helps the viewer of the photograph to appreciate it more. At first glance, it is just a photograph of children looking out at a lake, but knowing the historical and cultural context of the photo appeals to the viewers' emotions, or pathos. “Sitting on Rail” shows what life is like for these children, so often forgotten. With the help of the Rwanda Project, Musa helped to ensure that these children will not be forgotten and that their story will reach the rest of the world.

Works Cited

Rwanda: How the Genocide Happened. BBC News. 18 December 2008. 17 February 2010. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/1288230.stm.

Imbabazi: A Home for Hope. 17 February 2010.http://imbabazi.org/home.php.

Through the Eyes of Children. The Rwanda Project. 17 February 2010. http://www.rwandaproject.org/index.html.